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As I work with people fifty and over, I am aware that no matter how important the psychologically related issues of their personal lives may be, it is rare when spirituality doesn’t become an issue fairly early in our work together. As my patient, Jamie, a tall, shy, sixty-three year old woman said: “Although I entered therapy to try to come to terms with so many possibilities that I have never considered before, such as my failing health, my dislike of my body which no longer holds its shape, my fear of being alone, wondering what I would do if my husband Sam dies before me, and, of course, dealing with my own potential death, the truth is that I never really expected to feel so peaceful and serene as I aged. I think it has to do with my new interest in spirituality and what meaning it holds for me. I have found myself going to church again after a lapse of many years. I’m still not sure I believe in God, but I do seem to believe in something greater than myself.” Quietly she looked at me, a question in her lovely blue eyes. Finally, she asked: “Do you believe in God?”

Somewhere in mid-life many people begin to realize they are not going to live forever. Often, as with Jamie, they enter psychotherapy to deal with very real life issues only to find that they flow easily between talking about their personal dynamics and their cosmic beliefs. A 1995 Gallup poll found that the older a person is, the more important the rituals of religion were likely to be. Also, findings are consistent that older people who use religion to cope do better psychologically and physically than those who do not.

As we age, the concept of spirituality �whether through or apart from religious ritual � takes on greater significance. Since our population is aging and for the first time in our history seniors will outnumber youth, perhaps there will be a change in the ways our society views both age and spirituality. Ultimately we need to move towards the ultimate answer, which is as old as time: We need to give back and to love.

This column’s for you,

DR. D

Dorree Lynn, PH.D

About the Author

Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC.
Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner.
Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.

Today’s lifestyle leaves us open to a daily chemical assault, from the air we breathe to the water we drink, and the skincare and haircare products we use daily.It is not known what the long-term effects of these chemicals will be, but one thing’s for sure, it can’t be good. Some people are unaware of the huge amounts of additives in their food, water and personal care products. Some are too busy to care, and others have the attitude ‘ Yes I know, it’s awful, but what can you do?’ The informed, wise people out there though, are taking a different view. Any species that fails to live in harmony with it’s natural environment will eventually make itself extinct. Fact. It’s nature. If human beings carry on the way they are going, they will indeed end up extinct.. For instance, 100 years ago, cancer affected approximately 1 in every 50 people. Now it strikes 1 in 3. It won’t be long before it is striking half the population. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that our lifestyle is the biggest factor influencing this increase. Diet especially, is of paramount importance when it comes to maintaining good health, but so many people ignore this fact and fill their ( and their kids) bodies with low-nutrient , chemical and additive filled junk. When people eat meat, they are consuming the same chemicals and hormones that the animal ate. Obesity is on the sharp increase, and it’s not surprising considering that the majority of obese people are big meat-eaters. They eat the meat, the meat is full of growth hormones and chemicals, the growth hormones are absorbed into the human body, so the person gets fatter. Want my advise - if your are overweight and seriously want to lose weight - go vegetarian. If your body had a choice, it would ask for lots of fresh organic fruit and vegetables, preferably raw. Your body would choose clean , fresh water ( I mean pure bottled spring water, not the sewege that comes out of your tap at home). Think about how much fresh water you consume in a day, and by that I mean water not mixed with squash, tea , coffee or anything else. I bet it’s not much. Do your body a favour, next time you reach for the coke, reach for the mineral water instead. Tap water is just another way that we are being poisoned on a daily basis. It contains chemicals, hormones and in a lot of areas it also contains flouride. Yes, sodium flouride , that old favourite. The stuff they put in toothpaste is the same stuff they use to make rat-poison ! Surprised. What people get confused about is calcium flouride, which is the stuff naturally found in water which helps keep our teeth and bones strong. People think this is what goes into toothpaste and the water supply, wrong. Sodium flouride is a by-product of aluminium smelting and other industries. It’s nothing more than toxic waste. For years it was very expensive to dispose of, until someone decided to make up some rubbish about it being good for our teeth, so they could get away with disposing of it in our water supply. This of course was done without public agreement. Nice, thanks for that, I’ll stick to the bottled stuff. Sodium flouride builds up in the body over time, and causes cancer, it makes bones softer so they fracture more easily, and it doesn’t protect your teeth, in fact it has the opposite effect. Sodium flouride is a main ingredient in anesthetic, hypnotic, and psychiatric drugs (Prozac, for example) as well as military nerve gas. Sodium flouride promotes mental disturbances. The Nazi’s added it to the water supply at the concentration camps during the war, to help sterilize the prisoners and force them to be calm and submissive. Sodium Flouride has a poisonous and narcotic effect on a certain area of the brain, which makes the person submissive and less able to resist those who wish to control him. It’s a way of controlling of the masses. Hmmm, makes you wonder what the government have in mind for us today….. When we look at the skincare and haircare products we use daily, most contain sodium laurel ( or laureth ) sulfate. This is a foaming agent which is so harsh that it was first used as engine degreaser! Fancy that, washing your skin and hair in something harsh enough to strip oil off a garage floor. No wonder we’re all spending a fortune on moisturisers! Hmmm, am I just paranoid or do you think there could be some method in their madness…… So they put this SLS in your shampoo,shower gel, bath foam, toothpaste etc, and then add moisturising ingredients to the same products to counteract the drying effects of the SLS. Why not just buy products without SLS? That’s what the smart people are doing. That’s what I do. Since I stopped using commercial shampoos and skincare products, and switched to all natural skin care products, and natural hair care products, my skin and hair are gorgeous. My hair that was once frizzy and dry is now curly and shiny. Since I began using organic, aromatherapy based skin care, my skin that was once so shiny from all the grease and additives from my previous moisturiser, is now so soft , much younger looking, and I don’t need powder or foundation because my skin is great! I use non-flouride toothpaste, and I take vitamin and mineral supplements every day. I eat organic fruit and vegetables only, I drink only bottled water, I am vegetarian so I eat a very natural , low fat diet, that’s full of nutrients. I have never felt so healthy. If you value your body, your health and your life, as well as those of your children, you owe it to yourself to change your lifestyle right now.

In my mid-thirties it looked like I had it made - to everyone but me that is! When I looked in the mirror, a woman in her forties looked back at me. I read about celebrities getting “microdermabrasion” instead of plastic surgery so I tried it. The doctor explained that his $20,000 microdermabrasion machine “abrades” the skin with special medical-grade crystals, removing a layer of dead, damaged cells and stimulating the growth of new skin. It worked! Wrinkles faded. Those fine lines around my mouth almost disappeared. Best of all, it made a huge improvement with my acne scars. I looked 10 years younger. It was well worth the $125 each of my six treatments treatment cost! Then, just as I was beginning to enjoy looking younger, I lost my job. Suddenly, I couldn’t afford the dermatologist. I panicked when I looked in the mirror! I had interviews and needed to look my best, but how could I afford it? I became self-conscious. I didn’t date. I avoided friends. And I bought just about every anti-aging product on TV. Some didn’t do a thing. Some helped superficially but didn’t last. Some called themselves microdermabrasion, but didn’t work like the real thing. Nothing came close to the treatments I could no longer afford. One morning, while putting on my makeup, I suddenly wondered if microdermabrasion crystals could be bonded to a cosmetic sponge that I could apply myself - just like the makeup! I called a friend in the cosmetics business who thought it was a great idea. Before long I had a team of skin care professionals and we developed a new microdermabrasion process based on my crystal-bonded sponges. I couldn’t wait to try our prototypes. When I did, my skin felt like it did after my doctor’s microdermabrasion treatments, with that mild sunburn-like effect which only happens after real microdermabrasion! My doctor said that means a treatment is working - removing a layer of dead, damaged skin cells. Soon, my skin looked and felt great! My wrinkles were clearly diminished and even my acne scars looked smoother. Each time I used the product my skin looked better. It really was comparable to a doctor’s microdermabrasion treatments! I started my own company so I could bring affordable microdermabrasion directly to as many people as possible for a fraction of the price of professional treatments. You can’t imagine how satisfying it is - I’m not only looking ten years younger myself, but I’m helping others do the same.

Skincare - in preparation to your wedding this should be an essential part of your planning its just as important as choosing the right venue or dress, as all eyes will be on you and your bridal party so you want to look and feel great!

There are so many products out there that we are bombarded with choice. A salon is usually a good place to start as you can talk to someone who has specifically trained in skincare and will use a high quality range of products.

If you�re not doing it already cleansing and toning the skin is an important step in maintaining a healthy skin. Soaps tend to dry the skin out and are a fantastic breeding ground for bacteria, so avoid using on your skin and go for a gentler option such as a foaming face wash or face wipes if you want a quick cleanse.

Along with this, part of your everyday ritual should include twice daily moisturising even if your skin is oily you still should use a good moisturiser but one with a mattifying effect, which can help to control excess sebum production.

The day before the wedding make sure you exfoliate the skin so there is a good base to work on. Exfoliating gets rid of excess dead skin cells which cling to the surface and prevent your products from doing their job as effectively. Your makeup will look much better on a smoother skin. Makeup - Choosing the right makeup is the next step.

What colours should you get and what will last?

I would always recommend using a qualified beauty therapist/makeup artist for your wedding as from experience many brides have found it a great help. A trial should be offered so you can view the products and the makeup will be applied therefore you can see what the finished look will be for your special day. A general rule that older members of the bridal party such as the mother of the bride should go for a light base nothing too heavy which may draw attention to fine lines and matte eye shadows. The bride can choose from many different looks, matte and flawless, the dewy look for a healthy natural appearance. When having the makeup done on the day it is fun and helps your morning run smoothly so when you are all made up you feel confident and ready to go.

If you decide to do your own makeup then you can have a makeup lesson to learn some of the tricks of the trade. Here are just a few, use a daker blusher in a tan colour under the cheekbones to lift them and make them appear higher and deeper ( I call this the cheekbone effect. Apply eyeshadow with a damp brush for longer wear and stronger colour for precise application. The best foundation I have come across during my time as a makeup artist has such a flawless finish but doesn�t look heavy or caked, it covers redness and is also water resistant. A foundation like this is ideal for brides as being perspiration proof when you get hot in the evening dancing the night away your skin will still look perfect.

If booking a makeup artist always plan ahead these services get booked quite far in advance as do popular venues and other wedding services. Have fun preparing for your wedding and its a great excuse to get on top of a good skincare regime.

Lucy Orrey fully qualified beauty therapist/mobile makeup artist to Surrey and west Sussex RIPHH BTEC ND BABTAC For more advice , products available, wedding packages and treatments visit http://www.harmonyinbeauty.co.uk

It�s a fact. Men�s skin is more delicate than women�s. Yep, you heard right! The daily shaving ritual aggravates the skin, destroying the hydrolytic film on the skin�s surface, thereby increasing dryness and reducing the skin�s natural protection. What�s more, men � especially outdoor men � tend to expose their skin to a torturous array of damaging conditions including sun, wind, water, salt, building products, chemicals, cuts, scratches, and grazes. It�s no wonder, then, that the man of today is more concerned about his skin than ever before. Like his level of fitness and health, his apparel, and his grooming, a man�s skin says a lot about him. Unfortunately, this new-found awareness is leading some men to the conclusion that they should be using their wives� skincare products. This is a mistake! A man�s skin is different to a woman�s, so it needs to be treated differently. Why is men�s skin different to women�s? Before we can talk about how natural men�s skincare caters to men�s unique needs, we need to understand what those needs are. Why is men�s skin different to women�s skin? There are four main differences between men�s skin and women�s skin: � Men have thicker skin (although many women would beg to differ) � Men have oilier skin � Men have more delicate skin � Men�s skin has smaller sebaceous glands Why natural men�s skincare? There�s little point using a skincare product which is made for a woman�s skin. Quality-made natural men�s skincare addresses the differences between men�s skin and women�s skin (without turning skincare into a tedious, never-ending chore). A quality men�s facial scrub is formulated to combat the drying effect of shaving while at the same time exfoliating and replenishing the skin�s natural defenses. A men�s soap contains specially selected oils and organic ingredients which not only cleanse but which also accelerate healing. Men�s shaving supplements leave the face feeling fresh and moist, not dry and aggravated. And of course, men�s all-in-one face and eye moisturizers provide convenient yet dynamic skin rejuvenation while simultaneously minimizing the damaging effects of excess sunlight. Quality natural men�s skincare doesn�t contain chemicals which strip out the skin�s natural moisture. It doesn�t contain petrochemicals, sulphates, and chemical preservatives which can have an hormonal impact. It doesn�t contain artificial fragrances and parabens. In fact, quality natural men�s skincare contains only pure and organic ingredients. It consists of a blend of essential oils, vitamin extracts, spices, beeswax, and pure oils which is tailored to the specific needs of a man�s skin and a man�s environment and lifestyle. As a result, a quality natural men�s skincare range can make a man�s skin feel less irritated, dry, and itchy. It can maximize the skin�s elasticity, and enhance the complexion. Perhaps most importantly, it can make it far more pleasant to a woman�s touch� Conclusion As it turns out, men need skincare just as much as women, maybe even more. Their skin is more delicate and it is continually exposed to damaging conditions. But because a man�s skin is thicker and oilier and has smaller sebaceous glands, it needs a tailor-made skincare range. So when it comes to skincare don�t settle for second best. A man�s skin needs a natural men�s skincare range � a range which reduces dryness and irritation, replenishes natural defenses, enhances skin rejuvenation, and makes his skin all the more touchable�